Why I'm running a 50-mile trail race

 

First let me clarify that the only actual racing I’ll be doing is against myself and the 12.5 hours cut off time. There will be, of course, other runners there, running, and most of them will be much more experienced than I am, and racing against each other. And I’m so happy to be sharing this adventure with the trail running community I love so much. But my personal goals are pretty simple: to finish with my body more or less in one piece and my mind stronger. 

So why did I decide to run 50 hilly, technical miles when I could have just as easily decided not to? Why do we do anything, really? Was it Scott Jurek’s father who used to say: Sometimes you just do things? But here are some of my reasons (in no particular order): 1) because growth only truly happens outside of our comfort zone, 2) because running makes me happy, and running for a long time makes me happier, 3) because an all-day adventure in the woods is the best use of my time, 4) because I want to see if I can, 5) because next year I want to run a 100 miles. 

And because my instincts are telling me loud and clear that this is where I need to be, pushing myself, suffering a bit (a lot!), and coming through and out on the other side of this challenge. And only fools ignore their instincts. 

I’m not going into this unprepared. I’ve worked hard. And I am very grateful to my amazing coach - who is also in so many ways the best therapist I’ve ever had - who maintains a challenging training plan that gets me out the door every day (except my Monday rest days). And even though I don’t always feel like running or cross training, I do. I’ve trained through frigid days and sweltering days, through IT band pain, calf pain, digestion issues, a painful stomach hematoma (that I sustained due to a crash on the trail). So, yeah, running hasn’t been easy. It’s sometimes sucked enough to make me wonder why I was putting myself through this. But every sucky day has been worth it. I have never regretted getting out the door, not once. 

Race day is still about 5 weeks away. I’ll be putting in a lot of miles these next few weeks, a lot of hill repeats, and a few mountains. I’ll be focusing on getting my body to the start line as healthy as possible, which is a challenge in itself. I fell yesterday, and was pretty sure I broke a finger (it looks like just a sprain); I’m dealing with some calves issues and returning tension headaches. But it would take a missing leg to keep me from getting to that start line of Big Brad’s Punisher in October. I’ve learned a lot about running in my somewhat short time of trail running (almost two years now). One of my favorite personal lessons is that running doesn’t always feel good, but it will always make you into a better version of yourself. That for me is reason enough to run to the finish line.